Why Hasn't God Answered My Prayer?
There are several reasons why our prayers seem unanswered. Here are at least eight reasons mentioned in the Bible:
Cherished sin: “If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened…” (Ps. 66:18). There are times when God waits to give us what we ask because we continue to cherish sin instead of confessing and turning from it. This is not because God is vengeful towards us and wants to withhold what is good. Instead, it is because he loves us and wants to give us what is best: holiness and intimacy with him.
The way we treat others: “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way…so that your prayers may not be hindered.” (1 Peter 3:7). This verse reveals how our treatment of others can hinder our prayers.
Asking with false motives: “When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” (James 4:3). God cares about our motivations for asking. It is possible to ask for morally neutral things (promotions, finances, etc), with impure motives. In fact, the context that James refers to isn't something morally neutral, but is actually a good thing. It is in reference to people who want to teach and do the work of ministry.
Lack of earnestness: "Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.” (Matthew 9:37-38). The ESV includes the sense in which we must pray. This is an example of something that God wants to give, but wants to do so through the wholehearted earnest prayers of his disciples.
Spiritual warfare: Then he continued, “Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them. But the prince of the Persian kingdom resisted me twenty-one days. Then Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, because I was detained there with the king of Persia." (Daniel 10:12-13). This passage seems to indicate that Daniel sought the Lord in fasting and prayer for three weeks, but spiritual warfare was the reason for the delayed response.
Faith: If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. (James 1:5-7). There are times when God chooses to act apart from faith, like healing the man who was born blind, who did not even know Jesus (John 9). But this isn't always the case. In the verse above, it appears that God is willing to say yes to a prayer for wisdom, but not everyone can receive it. A person who doubts because he is "double-minded," or fundamentally divided about God, will not be able to receive the answer. We are also told, "And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." (Hebrews 11:6)
Perseverance: "Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up...“For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack me!’” And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off?" (Luke 18:1, 4-7). Jesus told this parable to encourage perseverance in prayer. God desires to give us good things, but he also wants us to develop perseverance. There may be multiple reasons for this. It could be to sanctify us, help us develop trust, instill patience within us, expose false beliefs about him, purify our motives, develop character, or simply because it isn’t God’s timing.
God has answered: "Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:8-9). There are times when God has answered, but the answer is that his grace is sufficient for us. He has decided not to give us what we are asking so that we could experience greater joy, grace, strength, and power as we depend upon him.
While these are some of the reasons the Bible gives for why our prayers seem unanswered, we should remember that God is not constrained by us. He is free to answer in any way he pleases (Psalm 115:3). And when we are tempted to think that he is withholding something good, let us remember that "…he who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?" (Romans 8:32).
God has shown that he is willing to give his best (His only Son), even when we are at our worst (yet still sinners). Therefore, if our prayers seem unanswered, it is because he is at work for our good. If your prayers seem unanswered, seek godly counsel in your community to help you discern what good thing God may be saying or doing in this season of your life.