The Insecurity of Leading as a Minority
by Brice Johnson
It was my first time preaching at the church. I looked at the congregation before I climbed the stage and saw people I had come to know and love, men and women with whom I had laughed and mourned, families that had shared my dinner table, and people who had invited me into their homes. But despite their warm welcome, I realized that, for most of them, this would be the first time they sat under the preaching of a non-white pastor. And most of them hadn’t noticed.
Although I grew up in an Indian church, I have ministered as a minority in majority culture contexts for the past thirteen years. I currently serve in a predominantly white church in the Oklahoma City area and have experienced many of the joys that minority ministers get to experience: participating in the vision of every tribe, tongue, and nation gathering under the lordship of Christ (Rev. 7:9), joining the artifacts of my culture with the best of “white” culture to create a more beautiful vision of community, and exposing cultural idols while realizing the idols and prejudices in my own heart. Leading as a minority in the local church has been a gift.
However, there are also many challenges. It takes more work to find natural touchpoints and commonalities with those who look different from me. I have often been misunderstood or had my heritage and experiences gaslit. I feel disconnected from my cultural heritage, and most of the people around me are either unaware or can’t relate. However, one of the biggest challenges is not anything that others have caused. It is the unanswered question that sits in the back of my mind. Do they truly accept me?
DESIGNED WITH DIFFERENCES
At the root of the question of whether I’m accepted by others is a sense of doubt about my own worth. Leading in a majority-white context quickly revealed cultural differences in how we approached ministry. My deference to authority was interpreted as being passive because I didn’t take the initiative. My idea of excellence paled in comparison to what my counterparts produced. These differences fueled the internal struggle with my own insecurities and sense of adequacy to pastor in a way that is on par with my white brothers. I compared myself to the leaders I wanted to be like and found myself wanting.
Nevertheless, there are real gifts that Indians (and all minority experiences) bring. Christianity is not a monolith but consists of God’s manifold wisdom of people from every class and culture who are called into a diverse kingdom. (Ephesians 3:1-13) Indians bring different perspectives to passages of Scripture and theological truths that can challenge normative assumptions. The Bible doesn’t change, but the questions and assumptions we bring to the Bible are shaped by our culture.
For example, eastern cultures bring a vision of community and hospitality that challenge western individualism within the church. Biblical concepts such as shame and honor are readily identified with Indian culture, and so we read the parable of the prodigal son with a greater appreciation of the depths of the younger son’s familial betrayal. Our cultural experiences can allow us to color biblical stories and ideas in a way that are understood more deeply.
The ability of Indians to connect and contextualize the gospel to other Indians and minorities is a gift that should not be overlooked. Over and over again, I have heard from fellow south Asians that I have been able to uniquely connect, challenge, and encourage them in ways that the other pastors on our team could not. It is not because I’m especially gifted, but often because our shared experiences allow me to connect and empathize in a more intimate way, as a fellow sojourners and exiles (1 Peter 2:11), or as Stanley Hauerwas and William Willimon put it, “resident aliens” who are in the culture, but not of the culture.
The challenge for Indian leaders is to push against the false idea that what we have to offer is not merely different, but somehow inferior. Our experiences, struggles, and strengths are gifts from God to be stewarded for the kingdom. Rather than run away from our culture or lean too heavily into it, we can view it as something God has entrusted to us that we might glorify Him and bring beauty to Jesus’ church. Therefore, the task at hand is not just to appreciate your culture of origin, but to consider God’s purposes in our stories. God has intentionally written our stories for our good and His glory.
Thankfully, I am part of a team and church that acknowledges and seeks to recognize the different gifts in Christ’s church. It’s not always perfect, and I know it requires patience. But whatever our role, whatever part of the body we are, Jesus says you and I are integral and necessary parts of His body. And that’s enough.
Brice lives in Oklahoma with his wife, Robyn, and two kids: Ellery and Emmaus. Despite his location, he is an avid Texas Longhorn and enjoys sports, reading, and spending time with his family.
Really enjoyed reading this! We need to bring our whole selves to the table and its always encouraging when others tell us how our words have encouraged them! Thank you for sharing.
Community’s here in South Florida especially the church is very hospitality, and we read the parable of the prodigal with deep compassion because we are all the prodigal son my friend don’t make your self think you know the scripture better because of your experience it is God who gives faith to believe and the Holy Spirit teaches Gods word so you can understand it. What you talk about is of the flesh not of God