Five Lies That Stop Women From Discipling Others
Five Lies That Stop Women From Discipling Others
by Sheryl Jacob
I made many regrettable decisions during my early twenties. I cringe at the words spoken and actions taken that led to painful consequences. As a young woman, I didn’t know how to grapple with conflicting emotions or confront challenging situations. I needed someone who could offer practical advice on friendships, finances, relationships, and spiritual growth – an older godly woman (a well-seasoned woman) who could guide me with the wisdom she gained in her own walk with God.
As I entered my thirties and forties, I realized that it was time for me to take on the role that I had been seeking. I had to ask myself why I hadn’t mentored other women. What obstacles and reservations prevented me from extending the same support and guidance to them?
Here are five common lies that stop women from mentoring other women.
“Discipleship is a one-way street.”
Although discipleship requires us to invest in others, it doesn’t mean we don’t receive anything in return. We can have a reciprocal relationship where both parties learn and grow together. While we may offer knowledge, insight, and experience, we can be stirred by the youth, passion, and even questions of those we disciple.
“Discipleship requires extensive biblical knowledge.”
It is important to know the Bible, but we don’t have to have formal theological training. People that we disciple can still gain wisdom in seeing us live out the bible in our lives. They can see the “word made flesh” through us in the way we model the character and teachings of Jesus. And in the event we fail, we can even model humility, repentance, and dependence upon the grace of Jesus.
“Discipleship is only for pastors or church leaders.”
Every believer participates in making disciples. If we are new believers, we tell those who are far from him about our newfound faith. If we are married, we model what it looks like to have a godly marriage. If we are single, we model what it means to honor God in our singleness. If we have lost loved ones, we model what it looks like to grieve well. In other words, there may be unique experiences that God has given us for the edification and benefit of other women and their spiritual growth.
“Discipleship is solely about spiritual matters.”
Many people think about their spiritual lives as their quiet devotional life. However, discipleship requires the whole person to grow in the likeness of Christ. This requires us to address the emotional, relational, and practical aspects of life as well. It seeks to bring the transforming power of the Gospel into every area of life.
“I have nothing valuable to offer.”
Some women underestimate their own wisdom, skills, and experiences, downplaying their potential to positively impact others. They assume they have to be married or have children to offer practical wisdom to another woman. But God has given us all a variety of gifts and experiences. “Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” (1 Peter 4:10). Our gifts, abilities, and experiences are not meant to be hidden or dismissed but deployed in service to others.
Answering the Call
Jesus commands every one of his followers to go and make disciples (Matthew 28:20). Therefore, as women, we, too, must ask how we have responded to this command. Who is growing in the likeness of Christ because of our intentional investment in their lives?
We don’t need to despair if we discover that we have neglected this calling. We can pray and seek God's guidance to know whom we should disciple. We can start to cultivate a genuine relationship with her by listening to her concerns and sharing our experiences. We can guide her in developing spiritual disciplines such as prayer, worship, and reflection, and teach her how to rely on God for strength, guidance, and wisdom in her daily life. And finally, we can take heart, because whenever we pray about discipling other women, we are praying his heart back to him.
Whether you are a young woman full of zeal and passion, a mother navigating the joys and challenges of raising children, a woman in the richness of midlife, or a wise elderly woman offering the gift of your accumulated wisdom, this can be the season when you become the mentor you wish you always had.
Sheryl Jacob is a follower of Jesus, wife to Sujith, and mom of three (Elijah, Ezra, and Anaya). She is also a Marriage and Family Therapist. She thoroughly enjoys hosting competitive game nights, listening to podcast, and is passionate about teaching therapeutic workshops. She and her family serves Jesus through Cornerstone Church in Mumbai, India.